


Our Secret Wall

by colorblindcanvas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blow Jobs, Epilogue, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Multi, My First AO3 Post, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Suicide, straight to gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 02:48:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3961612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorblindcanvas/pseuds/colorblindcanvas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is on colorguard, and he isn't gay, not matter what assholes like Uriel say. A junior in high school, he moved when his writer father met success. Like, Hunger Games level success. He meets Dean just before the start of marching season, and they hit it off like longtime friends. As certain things about his single father come to light, he leans on Dean as a source of joy and hope. But this intimacy with Dean pushes Cas to see himself for who he really is, and he works to accept it.</p><p>Dean Winchester is pretty, popular, and gay. He's also the star quarterback of the football team, with scholarships lining up at the start of his junior year. With a promising life ahead if him, he parties hard and has never liked relationships. He lived a hit it and quit it lifestyle, never having a boyfriend, just a booty call. But when he meets Cas, he finally finds a real connection, a spark that makes him believe Cas is worth his time. Not only does Dean lust after Cas immensely, he also is intrigued by him as a person, wanting to get to know him on a deep level. But old habits die hard, and Cas just won't give Dean what he wants. His attraction unrequited, he pushes Cas away in the midst of Cas' revelation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mario Kart and Ass-thetics. AKA the meeting

Cas sighed heavily, cold feet against the wall. He was strewn across the bed, head hanging off the edge as he stared at his phone intensely. Jesus Christ, why is the Captain America uniform so formfitting? It makes Chris Evans look like a god, with an ass to match. Not that Cas was gay, or whatever. He can simply appreciate the aesthetic. And Chris Evans butt is a great ass-thetic, if you catch whats being put out. Cas shut his phone off, sighing as he looked up. Or down, rather, considering his position. His white rifle was there, tape tainted green at the tip from repeated drops on grass. Practice was probably a good idea. Dammit. That means going outside. Outside is horrible. Outside is where he is about to spend 8 hours of the day for band camp. God must hate him.  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  


Dean threw his worn tennis ball against his wall, his reverberating thump overwhelming an expletive from the other side. Okay, that's it. Sam and Jess were using way too much language and being much too loud to be doing anything other than... Things. Possibly Mario Cart. Time for Dean's escape, he always let the couple Mario Cart in peace. He stood and stretched his legs, reaching towards his shelf for a good book. He decided to read the fourth Harry Potter for the hundredth time. He never tired of Rowling's writing. He jogged downstairs, footsteps clunky as the stairs creaked noisily beneath them. Oh, how he hoped Sam and Jess were interrupted, they disturbed him. Always being lovey dovey and shit. It was uncanny. He shut the door behind him, walking along his trail across his multi-acre lawn. The route was well worn, leading behind the scattered trees that protected his secret. The Wall. Covered in roses, it served has his getaway. (The flowers weren't even roses, but Dean didn't really know any other flower names.) It was slightly taller than him, probably seven and a half feet high and two feet thick. Most of it was broken, but this one portion had remained intact. Dean liked to relax at the top and read, or sleep, it provided him a certain clarity that is only allowed when thoughts are absent or not your own. Dean threw his book on top, hearing a startled noise responding to its loud landing.

"What the actual fuck was that?!" A gruff voice sounded from the other side, and Deans curiosity begged him to discover the owner of that surprisingly hot voice. He scrambled to the top of the wall, swinging his legs over as he eyed the rugged boy under him. Hot fricking damn, this guy was hotter than a young Leonardo DiCaprio. And that hair, he just wanted to touch it all day. Braid it, comb it, tug on it roughly. It looked so soft and pliable, unlike him. He was rugged, like Dean already said, and handsomely so. A little bit of scruff lined his face, but not much, as per the typical teenager. Unlike the typical teenage boy, though, he had no acne, or any other facial blemish. His lips were astounding, and oh god, now he was licking them. He was talking, shit. Dean hadn't been paying attention.

"-how is a guy supposed to practice around here when you come barging in and ruined my stretch time, huh? Who are you anyway, and how did you manage to pick the one spot I was at?" He rambled at Dean, eyes focusing intensely on Dean's own. Fuck, those eyes were also quite enjoyable. Can't this guy have one fucking unattractive feature?

"Uhm. Sorry. Sorry, I was just coming over to read, I didn't mean to startle you. I'm Dean, Dean Winchester. This is where I always go. I live at that house." Deans thumb jerked over his shoulder towards the house. His speech started shakily, but he quickly recovered. He was a smooth talker and this one guy was not going to take that from him.

"Right. Well, this is where I have to practice since my dad put a pool or some gazebo garden shit in all the other tree-less spaces. Sorry for ranting. You scared the shit out of me." The angel messed with the fabric of his shorter than normal shorts, taking one step closer to the wall as if Dean intrigued him. 

"So, I assume you go to Bunker High?" His voice was strong, clear. Confident. Yes, Dean can't get over his voice. 

"Er, yeah... I'm going to be a junior..." Dean smiled, though in his head he couldn't stop cursing himself for mysteriously losing all his charm in the last five minutes. 

"Oh, really? Me too." Hot Guy grinned. "Maybe I'll see you around then." 

Instead of coming even closer as Dean would have preferred, He took a seat and started talking to Dean like they were friends from childhood. He was so natural, so real, Dean's lust was quickly transformed into a legitimate crush on this adorably awkward stranger. Oh, please be gay. Or at least kinda gay. 

 ---------------------------------------------------

Hours passed, and Dean had to go make Sam dinner, so the evening came to a reluctant close. As they both said goodbye, Cutie got up and started picking up his stuff.

As the cutie picked up his wooden rifle, Dean realised Hot Guy was on colorguard. Uriel was going to give him so much shit for this. As Hot Guy started to head back up to his house, Dean came upon another disconcerting revelation. He didn't have a name.

"Hey, wait, I don't know what to call you!" Dean called out, praying that he would stop. And he did. Thankfully. Even though Dean literally sounded like a fucking rom-com. Cringe. 

"I am Castiel. I'm named after an Angel of the Lord or whatever. Call me Cas." Cas smiled warmly at him, his slender frame turning back to his home. "See you tomorrow, Dean, if you want."

Suddenly, Dean couldn't wait for the next day. So, when he woke up the next morning at noon, he wanted to sprint to the wall as soon as he could. Alas, he was in boxers and he wasn't sure (yet) if Cas wanted to see that. So he sauntered to his closet and stared at his clothes for a good five minutes, eyes running over the plaid patterns and denim fabrics. Fuck, none of this was good enough. He sighed, choosing his best jeans. These would simply have to suffice. He walked over to his dresser, where his nicer shirts were folded by his mother. He picked a blue button down, putting it on top of a simple tee and rolling the sleeves up. As he vaulted himself over, he was met with green. No Cas. Just green trees and green grass and no Castiel. Cas wasn't there the next day. Or any day after that


	2. Two Pizzas and a revelation later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WTF is wrong with me  
> I said by june and its almost august!!  
> I was so obsessed with fixing chapter one that whenever i worked on this one i felt anxious.   
> Sooo thanks to my beta for help!   
> I seriously appreciate it, babe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Me beta is Herm_Own_Ninny btw.

Cas fixed his flags in his arms, laying his rifle and sabre on top of them. His nerves were at an all time high and he was staring at the faux grass on the football field. Jesus fuck it was his first performance and he wanted to puke. It may have been stage fright, may have been the stench of the football players running by. Who knows. His eyes focused on the looming quarterback as he gave the whole band a sneering look before the sports weirdo found Cas in the crowd.

"Hey! Lookie, captain, a gay on colorguard!" The bass voice reached Cas' ears and he reddened. He was /not/ gay.

His eyes snapped up at the next sound, though. "Leave him alone, Uriel, you're just being a dick."

Dean.

Oh shit.

Cas fumbled with the equipment in his arms while his own captain gave him an eye roll and a smirk.

"Oh, does Cassie have a crush on Dean Winchester?" Charlie Bradbury teased affectionately.

"Shut up Charlie, or I swear to god I will 'accidentally' throw my rifle at you mid show." Cas growled at her quietly, avoiding Dean's hurt and somewhat angry green eyes. "You know I'm-"

"Not gay. Yeah. I got it." Charlie rolled her eyes. "But widen your horizon. I'm gay as fuck and I get laid regularly. When do you ever get it in?" She smirked.

"You have a girlfriend, so don't look so smug. For your information, I got it in last Friday." Cas glared playfully.

"Yeah? With who? Deanna?" Charlie batted her eyes at Cas.

"No. My hand." Cas could hear Dean's snort as he finally filed into the crappy locker room, and Charlie giggled at him. Cas gave her an exaggerated eye roll in response, slipping back into line as the instructor came over, gesturing for them to walk on the field and set.

"Good luck, Charlie." The entire guard chorused on the count of three, much to her chagrin. It had become a tradition at band camp and the large group had no intention of quitting.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They lost. Dean had fumbled what would have been a winning touchdown, and now when classes started Monday this will be the conversation starter. Fuck. Dean threw his bag on the floor carelessly, flopping onto the bed in disappointment. There was no reason to drop that, it had been right on his fingers. Because of his newfound clumsiness, his entire team- the entire school- was let down.

"Out, Sammy. You know, for a straight guy, you are such a girl." Dean mumbled. He groaned when he felt a dip in the bed next to him, rolling over to glare at the mop-haired teen. "Get your ass off the bed. I don't want to share my feelings." Sam simply smirked knowingly at him.

"You have a visitor, you dumb oaf. So you get your ass off the bed."

Dean sat up lazily at that. Interest level boosted. "Visitor?"

"No clue who he is or why he has a weird as shit angel name, but he's here. In the dining room." Sam tilted his head. "This one seems nice, Dean. Not your type though."

"Castiel isn't- we aren't-" Dean stumbled through words. "I don't think he's into me." He stood, ruffling Sam's hair as he thumped his way downstairs, giving Cas plenty of warning.

"There you are. I was worried you wouldn't come down." His blue eyes were filled with honesty and worry. _Yeah, you better worry, you ass._

Unfortunately, Cas hadn't gotten any less attractive since the game, and Dean found it difficult to level a hard glare at him. "Well, I don't like to disappoint. If someone expects to see me, I make sure to show up." His voice was much softer than his look, and Cas's eyes dropped.

"Yeah... Sorry about that, I was really tired." He almost sounded remorseful. Cute.

"For three weeks?"

"I had band camp. I was exhausted every day from heat." Cas shrugged casually, but there was hurt in his bass voice.

Dean rolled his eyes, but didn't press. "Why'd you come over?"

"I figured you be upset tonight. I wanted to tell you that I thought your skills were rather exemplary." Cas said stiffly, his oddly blunt and careful manner so endearing.

It was Dean's turn to shrug, and he sat in the creaky wooden chairs arranged around the dining table. "I'm fine. Guess you came over for nothing. You can go home now."

"Sam informed me that I was welcome for dinner?" Cas's eyes were downcast, but Dean could feel his careful and inquisitive nature through his voice.

Dean sighed heavily, turning to glare at Sam as the moose came down. "Fine, you can stay. Hope you like pizza."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two pizzas and three stolen beers later, and Cas was stumbling home with a silent Dean by his side. He couldn't help but scuff his feet when green eyes glanced his way. Cas carefully observed passing pebbles and the colorful foliage around them, not once looking towards Dean.

That is, until he heard a low whistle.

"Sweet house, man. Your daddy must be loaded."

Cas shoved his hands in his pockets as he stepped on the porch, thumbs sticking out over the rough denim. "Uhm, he's a writer. His books are pretty popular these days." He mumbled, lingering by the door. "Thank you for walking me home."

Dean smirked, a curt nod towards Cas his answer.

"Okay, uhm, well..." Cas hesitated. "Bye." he finally blurted, eyes trained on Dean's lips.

"See you Monday." replied a smooth, velvet voice, accompanied by subconscious lick of the aforementioned lips.

Cas nearly fell through the door in his effort to get away from the suddenly suffocating presence of Dean, from his eyes and his jaw and his hair and his everything. Christ. Castiel could not be attracted to this boy- to this _boy_. He slammed the door shut, dropping his house keys in the little bowl by the door.

"Cas?" Dad's croak rang through the hallway, and being an obedient little son, he followed it,stepping into his fathers study.

A very waify redheaded girl was standing there, slotted close to a short, impish boy, his look of mischief twinged by pain.

"Cassie, meet your half sister Anna and your half brother Gabriel." Chuck waved towards the two. Cas flicked the gaze between the two of them, the new information washing over him as his fists clenched and unclenched.

All that was remembered the next morning was yelling, confusion and hurt. And a very very bad headache.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic and I'm actually really nervous. A friend and I are writing off the same prompt as an experiment on creative differences, and this is my end of the deal. Here is chapter one. And a quick thanks to my betas! Thanks for helping me fix this so I can finally get on to the second chapter.


End file.
